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How to bring up ED with your doctor

Surveys consistently find that most men with ED never mention it to a doctor, and that most doctors never ask. Both sides are waiting for the other to raise it. Someone has to go first, and the conversation is far shorter and less awkward than the years of not having it.

6 min read · Last reviewed July 2026 · How we write this

The short version

  • Say it in the first minute of the appointment, not the last.
  • Bring your full medication list, including anything you buy over the counter.
  • Ask for a cardiovascular work-up, not just a prescription.
  • Any doctor can start this — you do not need a urologist to begin.

Open with it

The most common failure mode is saving it for the end. You mention it with a hand on the door, the doctor has four minutes left, and you get a prescription instead of an assessment.

When you book, say you want to discuss a men's health issue and ask for a longer slot if that is an option. Then lead with it. A sentence that works:

"I've been having trouble with erections for about eight months and it's getting worse. I'd like to work out what's causing it, not just get a pill for it."

That sentence does three things at once: it names the problem, it gives a timeline, and it signals that you want a work-up. Clinicians respond to that framing.

What to bring

  • Every medication and supplement you take, including over-the-counter ones. Photograph the boxes if it is easier than writing a list.
  • A timeline. When did it start? Gradual or sudden? Getting worse, or stable?
  • Whether you still get morning erections. This single detail meaningfully narrows the diagnosis, and doctors often forget to ask.
  • Your other symptoms. Fatigue, low mood, low libido, urinary changes, snoring and daytime sleepiness are all relevant and all commonly left out.
  • Family history of heart disease or diabetes.

What normally happens

Less than men expect. The appointment is mostly conversation. Expect questions about the pattern and timeline, a review of your medications, blood pressure, and blood tests — usually glucose or HbA1c, lipids, and often a morning testosterone.

A genital and sometimes a prostate examination may be offered depending on your symptoms and age. It is brief. You can ask for a chaperone. Specialist tests such as penile Doppler ultrasound are reserved for specific situations and are not part of a first appointment.

Questions worth asking

  1. Could any of my current medications be contributing, and is there an alternative?
  2. What does this suggest about my heart and blood vessel health?
  3. Should I have a cardiovascular risk assessment?
  4. What is the starting dose, and how many times should I try it before we call it a failure?
  5. What is the plan if this first option does not work?
  6. Is there anything here I should see a urologist about?

If the conversation goes badly

Some men get brushed off — told it is just age, or handed a prescription without any assessment. That is not adequate care and you are entitled to more.

You can ask directly for a referral to a urologist, or see a different clinician. An online clinic is a legitimate way to get a prescription conveniently, but it is not a substitute for someone checking your blood pressure and blood sugar. How to judge an online clinic.

A note on what this is

This article is general health information, reviewed July 2026. It is not a diagnosis and not advice about your situation. Talk to a clinician before starting, stopping or changing any treatment. Full medical disclaimer.

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